POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL:
(altho' the terms are
female for the victim.. males are also abused in these ways)
All types of relationships can contain these forms of abuse......
and sexual assault, or threats to commit them, are the most
apparent forms of domestic violence are the most apparent
domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to
become aware of the problem. However,
regular use of other abusive
behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more acts of
physical violence, make
up a larger system of abuse. Although
physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they insist
of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control
of the woman's life and circumstances.
and Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in
understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors,
are being used by a batterer to establish and maintain control
over his partner. Very often, one or more violent
accomplished by an array of these other types of abuse. They are
less easily identified, yet firmly
establish a pattern of
intimidation and control in the relationship.
THE POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL:
her afraid by using looks, actions and gestures. Smashing
things. Destroying her property. Abusing pets.
Putting her down. Making her feel bad about herself.. Calling
names. Making her think she is crazy. Playing mind games.
Humiliating her. Making her feel guilty.
Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what
she reads and where she goes. Limiting her outside involvement.
jealousy to justify actions.
MINIMIZING, DENYING AND BLAMING:
Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns
Saying the abuse didn't happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive
behavior. Saying she caused
USING CHILDREN: Making her feel guilty about the children. Using the
children to relay messages. Using
visitation to harass her.
Threatening to take the children away.
ECONOMIC ABUSE: Preventing her from getting or
keeping a job. Making
her ask for money. Giving her an allowance. Taking her money. Not
her know about or have access to family income.
MALE PRIVILEGE: Treating her like a servant: making all the big
Acting like the "master of the castle". Being the one to
define men's and women's roles.
THREATS: Making and/or carrying out threats to do
something to hurt her. Threatening to leave her, commit suicide
report her to welfare. Making her drop charges. Making her do
NON-THREATENING BEHAVIOR: Talking and acting so that she feels safe
and comfortable expressing herself
and doing things.
RESPECT: Listening to her non-judgmentally. Being emotionally
affirming and understanding.
Valuing her opinions.
TRUST AND SUPPORT: Supporting her goals in life. Respecting her
her own feelings, friends, activities and opinions.
HONESTY AND ACCOUNTABILITY: Accepting responsibility for
Acknowledging past use of violence. Admitting being wrong.
Communicating openly and truthfully.
PARENTING: Sharing parental responsibilities. Not
labeling parenting, "babysitting", Being a positive, nonviolent
model for the children.
SHARED RESPONSIBILITY: Mutually agreeing on a failure distribution
Making family decisions together.
ECONOMIC PARTNERSHIP: Making money decisions together. Making sure
partners benefit from financial arrangements.
NEGOTIATION AND FAIRNESS: Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions
conflict. Accepting changes. Bing willing to compromise.
*Developed by: The Domestic Violence Intervention Project, Duluth, MN